I was called “mean” and “ugly” on a blog where I challenged a gal about living with her boyfriend. She’d written for advice because she was feeling imposed upon: he wasn’t doing any of the housework.
What I want to know – no, that’s not true; I know the answer – I just want her to think about it. Why aren’t they married? Why is she living with him?
Well, we’re waiting til we have the money… Nonsense. If you have enough money to shack up, you have enough money to get married.
We’re just not ready. Oh. You can “play house” but you can’t do it for real.
Look, girls. There is only one reason why men want to shack up: They want free access to sex while they keep their options open. You give them what they want in bed, and you keep house for them. They haven’t made any sort of commitment to you, they can end the relationship with no consequences to themselves whatsoever, and they can still prowl around with an eye on your competition.
What do you get? You have already bonded with this guy when you gave him your body in sex. He experienced no such equivalent sort of bond. You have given him your all – your heart, your soul and your body, all interconnected – and he’s given you…
Nothing. No security. No concrete promise to be faithful. No set hope for a future together.
Girls – Please! Some of you even have children (plural!) with these men. Do you not realize that if anything happens – if he cheats on you, steals from you, leaves you, gets hurt or sick, or dies, you have no legal protection under the law. You get nothing for yourself.
What’s more, if you can get him to marry you, some indefinable place on down the road, you are more than 3x more likely to end up divorced than if you’d made him put his name on the dotted line to start with.
Meantime – you have invested yourself – to you, emotionally, it’s a marriage. You have your eyes on one man: him, that guy you’re living with. You’re in it 100%.
To him, it’s a shack-up. He’s free to keep an eye out on your competition, see whether something better can be had, on down the road. He’s in it… what? 10%? 50%? I can promise you – it ain’t 100%.
Let me be candid: you have been sold a bill of goods. A basket full of lies, courtesy of radical feminism, which denigrates marriage and your own value as a woman.
The reason you are living with this guy is because you don’t value yourself enough. You’ve sold yourself cheap. He’s getting all the benefits of the shack-up, you get no commitment, no compensations, no validation for your self-giving.
This is not a romantic interlude. It’s Booty-ville. This is a form of emotional and spiritual slavery. You have voluntarily enslaved yourself and it is going to cost you.
You don’t believe me? Go see what “Guy” says, over at What Women Never Hear. He’ll give it to you straight.